A Very Unique Valentine's Day Surprise

Whether you're in (or out of) love, the San Antonio Zoo is the Valentine's Day Capital of the World

Yum! Feed a cockroach to a zoo resident this Valentine’s Day

Out of all the places and ways to celebrate Cupid’s bow and arrow, one unlikely venue bills itself as “the Valentine’s Day Capital of the World”. So, where is this most romantic of places? Is it Paris? a three-Michelin-starred restaurant? a secluded beach at sunset, draped in swaying palms?

It’s the San Antonio Zoo. As part of its fundraising efforts, the zoo hosts many events that allow you to celebrate Valentine’s Day. We’ll discuss all the in-zoo options, but there’s one event that’s gotten the world’s attention for its tongue-in-cheek approach to love and healing.

The San Antonio Zoo is hosting its annual “Cry Me a Cockroach” fundraiser, an inexpensive way to take your frustrations out on that last Tinder date who ghosted you, the ex who two-timed you, or anyone else who has ever crossed your path.

For $10, you’ll get to purchase a cockroach and name it. That cockroach will be fed to a zoo resident during a live video feed. If your last relationship was pure garbage, for $25 you can purchase a rat to be fed to one of the zoo’s resident reptiles. There’s even something for vegans — ten bucks buys you a leaf that can be gently fed to one of the zoo’s herbivores. Buyers receive a small thank-you card along with a video of an animal eating their ex-in-effigy, which provides a little catharsis to your heartbreak.

Hope Roth, vice president of marketing, sales, and communication at the San Diego Zoo says the program, now in its fifth year, has become an international phenomenon with people purchasing rats and roaches from all around the world. The zoo offers a heatmap from where the tasty (for birds and reptiles) treats are sold and, surprisingly, people in Australia, New Zealand, and Europe are the ones buying up the vermin. The cockroaches are the biggest sellers, with thousands of them sold.

In addition to helping you heal in the most amusing way possible, you’re giving a delicious treat to one of the zoo’s animals, including Matilda, an adorable Tawny Frog Mouth who loves the crunchy treats. “Her beak doesn’t get the whole thing at once, so you hear the sound effects,” says Roth, who says that the zoo sometimes gets creative, adding sound effects and music to the feeding, and posting on social media. Other animals include Komodo dragons, snakes, and just about anyone who enjoys a snack. “There’s a wide variety of animal residents at the San Antonio Zoo, but the birds are fun because they get excited,” says Roth.

The main goal, of course, is to raise funds to secure the future of the residents of the zoo. “We’re very grateful for every cockroach,” says Roth.

If you’re looking for a unique gift for that special someone who might have joined in on the Moo Deng hippo craze, the zoo is also selling a Hippo Love candle. But first, a warning if you’re planning on lighting it on Valentine’s Day for a romantic dinner. The candle is infused with the actual scent of hippo poop from the zoo’s resident hippo, Timothy. “Yes, it smells,” confirms Roth, who adds that this is the ultimate aphrodisiac in the hippo world. “Hippos poop and swing their tails to attract their mate,” she adds.

If you’d rather be smooched by a hippo, there’s a Kiss-o-Gram, where for $10, you’ll be sent a video of a big ‘ole kiss from a hippo, kangaroo, or sloth.

For hopeless romantics who live near San Antonio or want to travel there, the zoo will host a “Wild at Heart” dinner on February 14. The four-course dinner will include wine, live music, and hippos. The dinner will be held in the venue’s hippo viewing cave, where diners can feast alongside resident hippos Timothy and Uma.

If you haven’t found the love of your life quite yet, leave it to the zoo to help you find your mate. On February 8, it’s hosting the Meet Your Next Ex! event where singles (and couples) can enjoy cocktails, live entertainment, games, and even meet some of the zoo’s residents.

For Galentine’s Day, I’ll be giving out cockroaches to my friends, named after their exes. And any ex will do — ex-spouse, partner, boss, friend.

The point is that we all have someone in our past (or present) that we’d love to be eaten by an animal. This is a harmless way to have a little soul-cleansing while giving back. And I’ll watch with delight as Matilda chomps on my ex-husband’s insect doppelganger, knowing that revenge is a dish best served to a bird (or a snake).

Participate in “Cry Me a Cockroach” here.